leadership

some people say leaders are born and some say the are made,anyway to an extent yes their are born and to an extent you have to make them or you can make yourself.when i was in secondary i was chosen as a school prefect and to me it was so wired and so fake,i told myself what does the school see in me to be a prefect. As time went own i told myself i need to work hard so as to lead by example,at first it was hard but i did lead by example and i really made a good prefect because my math teacher used to tell me i know you will make a good prefect and i did make him proud.anyway the point i want to state is that when i was no one the school saw features which can lead but i had to be made to make a very good prefect and i did.so leader can only have qualities but need to work hard to make a good leader. Roy chikumbi

love any race black or white

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it and to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things lies in us..so lets love each other even if they is difference race and tribe...because god is the one who showed us love first.

roy chikumbi

friendships

A good friend is someone we can count on, as well as being so much more.
A friend is someone with whom we can relax and just hang out, have fun and
share our innermost thoughts--deep dark secrets, lofty and noble goals, or
our hopes, joys, and fears. A good friend allows you a safe space to share
your deepest thoughts and needs--without worry of being judged, criticized
or made to feel silly for feeling the way you do. Friends cheer each other on,
laugh and cry together, and just plain commiserate and listen to each other.
That's why friends are friends....when u are down they should be there for u. ROY CHIKUMBI

ConFlict sTylEs

The way in which you engage in conflict has consequences for the resolution of the conflict and for the relationship between the conflicting parties.

Competing: I win, You lose.
The competitive style involves great concern for your own needs and desires and little for those of others.

Avoiding: I lose, You lose
Conflict avoiders are relatively unconcerned with their own or with their opponents' needs or desires.

Accommodating: I lose, You win
In accommodating you sacrifice your own needs for the needs of the other person.

Collaborating: I win, You win
In collaborating you address both your own and the other person's needs.

Compromising: I win and lose, You win and lose
The compromising style is in the middle. There's some concern for your own needs and some concern for the other's needs.


posted by,
Liew Li Hui

aTtraCtIoN

Attraction theory holds that people form relationships on the basis of attraction. If you are like most people, then you are attracted to others on the basis of four major factors.

Physical attractiveness and personality

It's easily appreciated that people like physically attractive people more than they like physically unattractive poeple.

Similarity

Generally, people like those who are similar to them in nationality, race, ability, physical characteristics, intelligence, and attitudes. Sometimes people are attracted to their opposites in a pattern called complementarity.

Proximity

If you look around at people you find attractive, you will probably find that they are the people who live or work close to you.

Reinforcement

You're attracted to people who give rewards or reinforcement, which can range from simple compliment to an expensive cruise.

posted by,

Liew Li Hui

team work!!!

i think team work is very important in anything we do or in any type of cooperation. Team work is where a group of people learn how to work together and learn about each other;s ideas and combine them. No doubt there would be difference of opinion among the group members that is normal and it is when the team has to work harder to overcome the problems and make their work a success in the end. Team building is important WHY?? It basically tells you alot about a person when you are working with them in a team. It tells you whether they are cooperating or demanding or any like that. This is where communication is very important between group members. It helps you gage how a person is.

written by
Dharshinie Vimalanathan

VAGUE

Take A Look At The Picture Below

If you’re done gaga-ing the picture, please do read the content below.

When you are explaining about the car, you will start by describing it vaguely or in abstraction. But when someone ask more question about the car, only then will you describe it in detail.

For example, it is a red car, it is a sports car, the car is manufactured by Ferrari, the type of the car is Ferrari Enzo, the car itself cost a million dollars. Can you see that I started in a very vaguely manner? And I continued to describe with more detail towards the end.

Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan

Communication is a form of art??

Do you think communication is a form of art???

In my opinion i think it is. WHY?? well basically along the years people have found new ways to communicate within each other verbally and non-verbally. It is very interesting to know how sometimes people come up with various ways and sign languages that help them communicate. Why do i agree that communication is a form of art? MAny people express their feelings through their art paintings and art is a very subjective thing it comes in many forms that is why i agrees to say that communication is a form of art. For example. coming up with sign languages to communicate among each other is an art piece of communication that help to people relate to each other. Art is the same thing it helps someone express their feelings to the world. That is why i think it is very important how we express our feelings to other people and expressing is one thing wether the person understands it is another...

written by
Dharshinie Vimalanathan

WAR

How can one achieve peace and harmony? Have you ever wondered why and how did the war in the United States of America and Iraq erupted? Was it just a misunderstanding or did they agree to not agree with each other? The truth is out there for you to find out.

If we expect to have peace, then we should start by trying to achieve peace as an individual, a family, a society and finally the whole country. When this is done, automatically the country will gain peace and harmony.

Although peace is not easy to attain and attitudes like greed and selfishness always starts a war, it is said and proved to be possible. A war usually starts when some are not satisfied with what they have, they just wants to grab others properties. So, as the LITE becomes drunk with greed in grabbing a part of our beautiful Motherland, this unfortunate war started.

To conquer peace and have a better place to live in, rather than changing everyone else, we should start with the man in the mirror.

Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan

Emoticons

there are some emoticons used in computer communication espeacially in MSN.
I'm sure we all are familiar with it.
for example, :-) means smile and :-( means sad.
all these emoticons help you to display emotions when you are chatting online with friends.
finally, i wish Mr. Murali "Happy Deepavali" and my groupmates "good luck" for the coming exam. (^.^)


posted by Liew Li Hui ^^

Meanings of colorzz..

different colors have different meaning. they can have positive meaning and also negative meaning.
for example, RED can signifies as good luck but also can signifies anger and danger.
it is just a matter of view.
it depends on how you feel about it.
YELLOW signifies wealth and authority but sometimes it signifies envy and jealous.

posted by Liew Li Hui ^^

Greetings and Wishes

From all of us here in this blog,

Happy Deepavali to everyone especially Mr Murali !

Also..

All the best to all who are facing exams. :)

Cultural context of conflicts

Cultural context of conflicts
Blog Entry 002 for week 7.
The cultural context of conflicts; there are 2 types which are cultural differences and gender difference respectively. Culturally, conflicts centres on the cause that people fight for and the right ways of handling the conflict. This is further divided in to 2 orientation; collectivist and individualist. Collectivist members tend to avoid conflict to save face.
Example,
In a collectionist culture, it is forbidden to correct another person bluntly as face saving is highly practised. Thus, conflict might arise should such behaviour been shown for it is considered rude culturally.

Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

Conflicts

Conflicts
Blog Entry 001 week 7
Conflicts are confrontations that is acknowledged by both sides of arguing parties. Conflicts can give good advantage such as addressing important issues and subsequently giving strength to relationship when both parties involved are satisfied.
Example
A friend is annoyed by a particular behaviour of her roommate thus, take charge to confront the roommate by explaining, listening and reasoning. As a result, bugging issues are solved.

Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

Greatest love

Greatest love
Blog Entry 002 week 6
Generally, there are many kind of love such as eros (love for beautiful physical appearance), ludic (love for fun) storge (the calm/ peaceful love) pragma ( practical love) manic (obsessive love) and agapic love ( selfless love).
Agapic love is the greatest love of all due to its selfless nature. Agapic love could be seen between a mother and her baby, activists and good people.

Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

Types of interpersonal relationship; Friendship

Types of interpersonal relationship; Friendship
Blog Entry 001 week 6
One of the most prominent types of interpersonal relationship is friendship. It is divided into three which is friendship of reciprocity, receptivity and association.
Friendship of reciprocity is a 100% mutual relationship. In other words, both parties involved in this kind of relationship give and take equally.
Example
When a best friend puts lots of efforts of finding the best gift for her best friend wedding, the same is done onto her by her best friend when she gets married.

Friendship of receptivity is a relationship with unequal input and output from both sides, such as one party benefits more than the other. Nevertheless, both still profit from this kind of relationship for one side has high capacity to receive and the other, high capacity to give. In simpler words, this kind of relationship comes about when one party requires certain needs and the other party could accommodate the need due to his/her expertise.
Example
A weak student gets tutorial from a good student. The weak student a benefit by gaining knowledge and the good student gets to strengthens his/her memory by teaching someone else what one already knows.

Friendship of association is a temporary relationship@ surface level relationship. In majority, this kind of relationship is practical based relationship. It does not involve much emotions compared to the other two. This type of relationship has minimal give and take in all aspects.
Examples of friendships of association could be seen between a new employee with her new boss.

Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

a smile that speaks a 1000 words

did you know a smile gives alot of meaning??it doesnt necesarrily mean that one is happy when they just flawnt a smile across their face.

i know this one person whom no matter what problem she faces she puts a smile on her face. The funny thing is that she does it so well that u can barely notice that she is sad about anything unless you are like really close to her. So much so when people look at her they think that she's the happiest person on earth..but actually if your close to her you will kow the problems that she goes through are just the hardest things she has to live with just by putting a smile on her face.

by Dharshinie Vimalanathan

relationships is like playing soccer

relationship is like playing soccer,we see all these big names christiano,fabregas,hennry all these names did not just come up, the put so much hard work in the things they do because you know why if you are not practicing you be left out of the team and if you dont impress the coach more oftenly you are likely to be one of the guys siting on the beach.just like relationship its need attention and a lots of commitment because if you dont commit yourself the relationship one of the two will get bored and tired then the will move on to live their lives.just like when we are marking for a chick,we do almost everything to get the girl and when we do we become stupid beccause we dont have anyone to produce the spark .thats why ams saying relationships are like soccer you need to be commited to make the relationship and need to produce a spark everytime you feel its fading.by roy chikumbi

Pride & Prejudice

Have you seen or heard about Pride & Prejudice, a book written by Jane Austen? The best-selling book was then made into a movie played by Keira Knightley and was released in 2006.

Mr. Bennet is an English gentleman living in Hertfordshire with his overbearing wife. The Bennet’s 5 daughters include the beautiful Jane, the clever Elizabeth, the bookish Mary, the immature Kitty and the wild Lydia. These girls have been raised by their mother with one purpose in life: finding a husband.

The story then focuses on Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. When the wealthy bachelor Mr. Bingley and his best friend Mr. Darcy arrive in town to spend the summer in a mansion nearby their property, the shy and beautiful Jane falls in love for Mr. Bingley, but Elizabeth finds Mr. Darcy a snobbish and a proud man, and she swears to loathe him forever.

This is a good example of people rushing to make assumptions, where Elizabeth jumps to conclusion assuming that Mr. Darcy is a proud man without truly knowing him. She refuses to get to know him better and know him as a person, instead she judged him based on her first impression of him.

Towards the end of the story, Elizabeth realised that she has mistakenly assume Mr. Darcy. He turns out to be the total opposite to what she thought he would be. She ends up falling for him, and was asked for her hand in marriage by Mr. Darcy himself.

Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan

money plays a role in relationship

when i was growing up i thought relationship is all a about beauty and love and money is never involved but to come and think of it now in this generation we are living in money plays a big role,i agree the are people who love each other just for the sake of love but the question is how long can you hold on to a relationship where they is no money sooner or later she will get fade up and she will live.for example talking through experience i have a really close friend who is very cute and the boyfriend is very handsome that both of them take the attention of everyone when we go out or something its either on one side the guys will be marking the girl or the other way round,but the problem with this relationship is that the man is not a fighter,meaning his owez relying on the girl to feed him keep him,pay for his food at school,pay for the rent and pay for the bill in the club but the thing is no matter how much that girl love him how long is she going to hold on,yes he may have the face,body and all but the girl needs to be taken care of,needs shelter and lastly girls need to be spoiled once in a while.so to get back to my point no matter how cute and handsome you are,you have to be independent and you should owez be a fighter because girls like people who are hard working.thats the reason why we find alot of old men or not very good looking but his dating a very cute girl its because the gils like to be take care of and spoiled a litle,so as for me money plays a role in a relationship by roy chikumbi

Take A Good Look

When people are conversing, they tend to make facial expressions that they don’t even realise. Facial expressions are sometimes made without their conscious mind, it comes naturally. Facial expressions are shown without needing to say anything because it is a form of nonverbal communication.

When people sense some kind of a smell that they like or despise their positions of the muscles of the face will start to change. We can tell so much by only looking at one’s face. It can be a lot of meanings to what they are expressing on their face. For instance, if a person is feeling sad, happy, annoyed or doubt, we can predict their emotion by just looking at their face.

Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan

Workplace relationship

Workplace relationship especially workplace romances, provide a unique perspective on the advantages and disadvantages of relationships. Some people say that workplace romance will affect the effectiveness of work, but some them may disagree with the statement. If you can manage it well, I think everything should be fine.
One of my friends is having workplace romance. At the beginning, they are just friend. They work together and always help each other. After 4 years being such a close friend, they fell in love with each other. Both of them realized that efficiency and effectiveness of the work is important in this case. Hence, they decided that they will only meet after work. In the office, they are just like normal friend and perform their own task.
This kind of relationship didn’t affect their work but help them a lot in the working place or outside the office. They can talk about their work happily and share their own experiences. At the end, they get married and live a happy life.
Is it all workplace romances are bad? Not necessary. It is only depends on how you handle it. As mentioned above, if you can manage it well, nobody will disagree with it, just like my friend.

Posted by Liew Li Hui

Love

What is love all about? Why we can know how to love without teaching by anyone? Why love is so important in our life? Love is a beautiful word. It is a kind of feeling that deep in our heart. However, there are many types of love such as eros love, ludic love, agapic love and much more. Today, let us talk about agapic love.

Firstly, what is agapic love? Agapic love is a compassionate and selfless love. We can understand it from our parents. Most of the parents love their children very much, even more than their live. When you are in trouble, who supports you the most? When you are a child, who protects you the most? Although there are some irresponsible parents who do not care about their children, but most of the parents did showing agapic love.
Our mothers give birth to us. Do you know how hard for your mom to born a baby? They don’t even care about the risk while in the process of delivering a baby. If something goes wrong, they may suffer from unnecessary consequences. Can you imagine how much courage they should have? Our father, he needs to work hard to ensure the family members can live a better life. He also acts as our role model, teach us a lot of things. Love from our parents is selfless. What they care is their children but not themselves. They always place their son or daughter in the first place. Can you have this kind of love towards your parents?
If you are with your parents now, don’t be shy to give them a big warm hug. If you are away from them, give them a call. Trust me, I’m sure that they will be very happy even just a simple call.


Posted by Liew Li Hui

Facial management

Facial management
Blog Entry 002 week 5
Facial management is one of the most important forms of nonverbal self expression. Mainly it is used to conceal or highlight ones emotion to the listener. There are five types of it which are to intensify, deintensify, neutralize, mask and simulate. All five are utilised to please people, save face of others, to protect others feelings, to defend ego and to empathise. A simple example of masking is as below.
Situation
A mother in hunger manage to facially express she is full and give all scarce food left to her child at the sight of her child’s insatiable hunger.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

Nonverbal gives accent to verbal messages

Nonverbal gives accent to verbal messages.
Blog Entry 001 week 5
There are many crucial functions of nonverbal messages. One of it is to give accent to verbal messages. While messages are conveyed verbally, nonverbal could be used to add stress or accentuate verbal messages. This could be done via physical movement, voice volume and intonation, or by facial expression. This particular function nonverbal message is important to reduce message ambiguity or abstraction; for emotion plays major role in determining the level of seriousness of a verbal message.
Example
A father when giving a serious warning regarding safety to his child should show nonverbal accent of authority so that a child would understand that his father is not telling him a joke and pay attention closely.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

Messages Symbolize Parts of Reality

Messages Symbolize Parts of Reality.
Blog Entry 002 week 4
It is important to note that words and sentences are just representation of reality as in objects, people and events. Nevertheless, when a person acts as if words and sentences represent reality, this might demonstrate that the individual is intensional oriented if not acting with allness attitude. Intensional orientation is putting labels or schema on people, objects and events before checking first if the labels attached is indeed true. Extensional orientation is the opposite; people who seek evidence first then make a schema out of the acquired evidence. Allness thinking is putting things in categories without sufficient knowledge @ jumping into conclusion by drawing schema on the unknown things. Example is as shown below.
Situation
An elder sister tells everyone that her baby sister is a brat. Those who believe the elder sister before getting to know the baby sister is subjected to intensional orientation. The baby sister after several mistreatment by the strangers introduced by the elder sister, starts to conclude that all strangers are harmful, is showing a form of allness thinking. This situation could be overcome by applying extensional oriented approach.

Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

Messages Can Obscure Distinctions

Messages Can Obscure Distinctions
Blog Entry 001 week 4
One of the way messages can obscure distinctions is by polarization. Polarization is the tendency of putting things into either end of a bell curve @ extremities. It is in a way a form of dualism; right or wrong / yes or no. An example is as shown below.
Situation
A materialistic person who views the world to consist of only either a person successful (rich) or failure (poor) people is demonstrating polarization.

Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457

understand freindship

at times we tend to miss understand between who real friends are and who party friends are. then we start to loose it all when we need advice and have personal ideas to talk about. a real friend will always be convinient in all situations no matter what comes up in our lives. am happy to be freinds with you boy. you have really changed my life to become a better person living no barriers aside. you really have been there and i really dont ever regreat making you a freind at any one time, thank you for being my freind. by roy chikumbi

impressions

it always good to get correct impressions,many times we end up to get wrong impressions and judge to that then when things dont work out as we planned we get dissapointed and we blame other people for the wrong impressions we took.sometimes in class we do that to lecturers as well due to certain ways they carry themselves , the ways they dress and all that kind of things. my major issue this afternoon is to urge everyone to stop judging others because its not good but rather have an aim of meeting everyone with an open mind. hope this will change someone tonight.by roy chikumbi

nOn-veRbaL coMmunIcaTioN

In our daily life, there are many kinds of communication between you and me. Generally, there can be categorized as verbal and non-verbal communication. When we communicate with others by saying words, that is consider a verbal communication. If we show our feeling or message without saying a word but using a gesture or body language, that is so called non-verbal communication. For the topic on today, let us focus on non-verbal communication.

In non-verbal communication, there are many sub categories like body language, body appearance, facial expression and so on. Body language is send through body movement such as emblems, illustrators, affect displays, and many more. All those are the natural respond when you encounter with particular situation. What will you do when you see a huge crocodile in front of you? I think most of us will run as fast as we can without saying a single word. This is considered part of the body languages.

Body appearance is our height, weight, race, and hair color. If you are a tall guy, others may assume that you are a basketball player. Somehow, body appearance does bring some information to others because people can roughly guess about you. Whereas facial expression is something related to feelings. Happiness, surprise, fear, anger, and sadness are all the examples of facial expression. The feeling you show on the face can communicate with others. When you are angry, your face will turn red and others will know that even you did not tell a word.

In conclusion, non-verbal communication plays an important role in our life. It may bring benefits for you, but be careful that it may also destroy your image. Always analyze our own non-verbal communication patterns to ensure that we still able to communicate with the people around cheerfully although in a silent mode.

Posted by Liew Li Hui

Silence

What is silence? According to dictionary, silence is the absence of sound. I guess most of us done this before. We did it without notice almost anytime and anywhere. Why we silence? Have you think about it? Silence do have its own functions in certain circumstances. What are they?

Sometimes we silence because we want to give ourselves a moment to think and prepare for something. Before we spell out a sentence, we need to think and prepare for it. For example, when a boss scolding a staff, he will need to think and prepare the sentence to reduce the harmfulness to the minimum towards the staff. During this second, the boss silence. Silence is also a type of behavior or response to personal anxiety. We will automatically become silence when we are nervous.

This is because noise will make our though become worse, so we need to keep quiet in order to calm down ourselves.

Prevent communication is also one of the functions of silence. For those people you really don’t like to talk with, your silence take place to prevent unnecessary arguments with them especially in front of public. Have you come with the situation that when you tell your friend something but he or she didn’t give you any response? In this situation, your friend may have nothing to comment or say. We do have met this situation before, don’t you?

Sometimes we are not feel like talking. In this condition, why don’t we just silence for a while?

Posted by Liew Li Hui

*wink* ;)

Today's topic is on FOOTBALL.

Remember in the previous World Cup when the controversy and rumours of Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal successfully helped sent off Wayne Rooney of the England squad who also happens to be his then clubmate?

Apparently, C.Ronaldo winked to the bench after the referee shows the red card to Rooney. Many fans and critics speculated that Ronaldo had every intention to reduce the England to ten players and help his team to move on to the next round. If you watch the video, it is towards the middle that you would see it.



The possible meaning behind the winking could probably meant "I did it" or "You are most welcome". Whatever it was, the wink was very ambigous as it can be anything and everything. Therefore, we have to be very careful with our actions and be ready to accept the consequences of our actions. In other words, we must be concious of our body language at all times.

Blogger by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

Honesty Is Hardly Ever Heard

The song above was released in 1978 and is one of my mum’s favourite songs. So yes, most of you may not even been born yet and you might not recognize the song or the artist.

I posted up the song because I was attracted by its lyrics and the truthfulness of the words used. It’s hard for me to choose a favourite sentence because there are so many of them to choose from. So I’m picking two paragraphs of the song.

I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

The song is about how hard it is to get people to be honest. Its hard to believe people and gain their trust. People often lies than telling the truth most of the time, and so honesty is hardly ever heard. I can somehow relate to this song because I have trust issue and I don’t share my stories easily to people. It’s hard for me to open up.

Communication may not only be express through conversation or body language, it can also be conveying through songs, lyrics and singing. The song is a good example how one person is expressing his opinion on how it is hard to find honesty.

Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan

Everyone Has It's Faults

Stereotyping is what we do best. We can’t run from judging people, even the most innocent person do critic people around them.

For example, people stereotype other people by the colour of their skin. Stereotyping is not necessarily a bad thing because when we choose to talk about basketball with a black man, we consider them to be the superior player in those sports.

Though there is some stereotyping that is negative. For example like the judgement that people have towards women. They expect women to be the one who stayed at home cooking and cleaning the house while the men go out to earn money. But in fact it can go the other way around or maybe both of them can work.

Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan

STARE INTO ME EYES !!

Hey all ! It is the mid-autumn festival today. Happy Mooncake Festival all !

So anyway, I was thinking. The mooncakes these look real small. Small as in TINY. My dad brought home one just now. I was just staring at it, mystified by the size and shape as well as the precise decoration on it. It is small enough to just eat it whole in one bite.

As I continue to stare at it, my mum was looking at me. We made eye contact for a moment and laughed out loud. She just knew my all too well. I wanted to eat it but I can't. It was my dad's mooncake. Haha. :)

So yeah. Eye contact says alot. It is such an important non-verbal communication. It CANNOT lie. Therefore, next time when you suspect someone is lying to you, STARE at his/her eyes. They will tell you the answer you need and want to know.

Tata for now..

Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie the me(L)anie. Hehe. =)