*wink* ;)

Today's topic is on FOOTBALL.

Remember in the previous World Cup when the controversy and rumours of Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal successfully helped sent off Wayne Rooney of the England squad who also happens to be his then clubmate?

Apparently, C.Ronaldo winked to the bench after the referee shows the red card to Rooney. Many fans and critics speculated that Ronaldo had every intention to reduce the England to ten players and help his team to move on to the next round. If you watch the video, it is towards the middle that you would see it.



The possible meaning behind the winking could probably meant "I did it" or "You are most welcome". Whatever it was, the wink was very ambigous as it can be anything and everything. Therefore, we have to be very careful with our actions and be ready to accept the consequences of our actions. In other words, we must be concious of our body language at all times.

Blogger by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

STARE INTO ME EYES !!

Hey all ! It is the mid-autumn festival today. Happy Mooncake Festival all !

So anyway, I was thinking. The mooncakes these look real small. Small as in TINY. My dad brought home one just now. I was just staring at it, mystified by the size and shape as well as the precise decoration on it. It is small enough to just eat it whole in one bite.

As I continue to stare at it, my mum was looking at me. We made eye contact for a moment and laughed out loud. She just knew my all too well. I wanted to eat it but I can't. It was my dad's mooncake. Haha. :)

So yeah. Eye contact says alot. It is such an important non-verbal communication. It CANNOT lie. Therefore, next time when you suspect someone is lying to you, STARE at his/her eyes. They will tell you the answer you need and want to know.

Tata for now..

Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie the me(L)anie. Hehe. =)

Controversial Issues

Some of the topics I am going to touch on are controversial issues. Readers, I apologise in advance if I have directly or indirectly offended you or anyone who you know.

Topics of the day :

1.RACISM
- discrimination against other races
- most obvious between African American and others
- happens everywhere in the world

The following video shows this example of discrimination among Americans.


2. SEXISM
- discrimination against other genders
- Male vs Female
- again happens globally
- examples are such as F1 sports. No ladies are allowed to race among the men.

3. AGEISM
- discrimination against generally the elderly.
- happens mostly in companies
i.e. My mum's former company has this ruling that states that " All employees that are 55 and above are expected to retire unless they are under contractual agreement."


These are just some of the more common discrimination. We should practice being transparent and not speak or act in any way that discriminates others. It hurts when this happens to you. Practice being emphatic. This will strengthen all kinds of relationships.

Talked about by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

You talk, I listen.

Situation:

You are upset with your some of your friends as they tend to ignore you during/in group conversations. You decided to talk to a few of them to try to figure things out. You asked them this question..

" Why do you seem to exclude me everytime when in group talks? "

And they replied...

Jenny : Sometimes I feel that too. That everyone is talking to everyone BUT me.
Charlie : We were not pushing you away. You just kept quiet the whole time and we just let you be.
Amos : Well, at times some of us wanted to have a private discussion and you happened to be there. We didn't want to be rude by by asking you to leave.

Many people faced this and it is not unusual. I face this too. When this happens, the three respondents are said to be ACTIVE LISTENERS. They interpret things differently and stated three different opinions.

This is good as it shows you are listening with empathy. Putting yourself into others' position. All of us should practice this more often than not. :)

Posted by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

Maybe, Maybe Not

My friend and I were really close.
He would be my shoulder to lean on
And vice versa
One day he started calling me names and being rude to me
I brushed it all aside thinking maybe it was someone else
Later only did I find out that it was indeed him who did all the things to hurt me
Why you may ask ?
I tried getting the answer out of him but he refused to tell
The only rational conclusion I could come up with is that he was heavily influenced by his other friends
Hence all the things he said and done

After all that has happened, my perception of him changed. I thought he was a one in a million true friend but it turns out he is just another spoiled brat.

Shared by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

Shhhh.... Please keep this a Secret ! ;)

A : B, I need to talk to you about something. It's quite personal and I would appreciate it if you keep this a secret. Please DO NOT tell this to anyone else. *shows a pleading facial expression*

B : It's alright. You can trust me. After all, what are friends for ? *smiles*

A : *takes a deep breath and starts blabbering*


Sounds kind of familiar to you doesn't it ? You have probably played both roles of A and B before.

This is called Self-Disclosure. You disclosed something (usually personal information) to someone whom you really trust and expects them to keep the secret safe, locked deep in their hearts. Of course just like everything in life, self-disclosure has its pros and cons.

Pros / Rewards / Benefits :

1. Better Self-Knowledge !
You will be able to know yourself better and in a new perspective or a whole new way. Seeing your problems and secrets laid out will enable you to further improve on your weaknesses and vulnerability. For example..

You like someone and he/she doesn't feel the same way. You are confused and hurt as you really like that person very much.


Telling this to your close friend will help you to decide what your next step should be in approaching this matter. You will also have the courage to accept whatever consequences with the help and support of your friend.




2. Ability to cope stronger
Since someone else knows your deepest secret, you would not have to carry the heavy burden of keeping it from everyone's knowledge. You will feel relieved and happier too. And sometimes you will be able to see the solution that has been right under your nose all these while. Besides that, you are able to discuss it with your friend and receive help from them through advises and suggestions.



Copyright © Image created by Jay Shah, University of Colorado, Boulder, 2005, using MS Clipart. Copyright (c) 2004 Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052-6399 USA. All rights reserved.


3. Communication between you both improves
Now that you both have something to share and talk about, you will go deeper into the subject. At the same time, you will learn in time about each other and how to best communicate effectively with one another. You will begin to make lots of phone calls or send short messages (sms) via handphone, chatting online, or just simply hang out somewhere to talk. Self-disclosure helps to bridge the gap and allow you both to talk about many things.






4. Relationships become more meaningful and might blossom into something more.
Over time, you and your friend spent lots of time together talking about life, problem, relationship, etc. The friendship will soon become very important to you. If both of you are young ladies or guys, you will be very close friends. However if you and your close friend whom you disclose countless personal details to are of the opposite sex, you might find yourself falling in love and having a relationship with your best friend.

So you see, self-disclosure can benefit you in so many ways. However, be careful not to reveal your personal information to just about anyone. Choose wisely on whom you confide to. :)

Blogged by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

Jon & Garfield

Garfield is hilarious isn't he ? However, what he said in the comic strip only holds true in his world. In reality, if this happens, it would only be a one-way relationship if none at all. If you analyse the comic script closely, you would see that there is a speaker and a listener. The speaker is of course none other than the furry orange cat, Garfield. The listener who is somehow able to read Garfield's thoughts is his owner, Jon.

There are a few form of human communication here. First would be the interpersonal communication. Garfield is somewhat communicating with Jon even though Jon didn't respond. This can be seen clearly when he greeted Jon with a Hello and a Goodbye.

The other form of human communication is the intrapersonal communication. Garfield is sort of speaking to himself, explaining his actions that he just performed. Since there is no one else in the last column of comic, it can be concluded that he is talking to himself.

Both forms of communication are practised everyday by us consciously and unconsciously. We interact with other people one-to-one, face-to-face, or in a group. When we speak to others via email, chat online, instant messaging, handwritten letters, on the phone, these are conscious communication. Examples of unconscious talking are like intuitions, gut feelings, whispering to ourselves silently, etc.

We can never run away from all these. It is part of us and our everyday lives. Without it, survival would be imensely difficult.

*Credits to http://community.livejournal.com/garfielddaily/177908.html for the Garfield comic strip.

Posted by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)

Footsteps into Human Communication

Hey everyone !

This is my very first blog post for human comm ! I am so excited ! :)
It has been a fun and interesting first two weeks.
It can only get better from here, dont you agree ?
Anyway, as a start I thought I should keep it light.

So, Human Communication. What is it ? According to the textbook, it states that it consists of sending and receiving of verbal and non-verbal between two or more people. In other words, it is just like a conversation you have with someone else or as a group like your family and friends. It involves 2 main things, verbal communication meaning speaking using your mouth and the other is your body language which is the expression of your body.

I don't think I have to explain much about verbal communication as most of us know what that means. Lets focus on body language. Body language simply means how you or rather your body react to certain things like your pose, gesture and movements of parts of your body.

For instance,
1. If you avoid eye contact with someone...
This probably means you are afraid or shy.

2. If you keep pushing your hair back...
This most likely says that you are bothered or troubled by something, frustrated,
nervous, self-conscious or bored.

3. If you sit cross-legged...
This may suggest you are confident or flirty.

4. If your writing is small...
It might indicate you are uptight, likes to be organised, dislikes changes or neat.

That's all for now. I will update soon with my second post of the week ! Till then, take care ! :)

By,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)