A : B, I need to talk to you about something. It's quite personal and I would appreciate it if you keep this a secret. Please DO NOT tell this to anyone else. *shows a pleading facial expression*
B : It's alright. You can trust me. After all, what are friends for ? *smiles*
A : *takes a deep breath and starts blabbering*
Sounds kind of familiar to you doesn't it ? You have probably played both roles of A and B before.
This is called Self-Disclosure. You disclosed something (usually personal information) to someone whom you really trust and expects them to keep the secret safe, locked deep in their hearts. Of course just like everything in life, self-disclosure has its pros and cons.
Pros / Rewards / Benefits :
1. Better Self-Knowledge !
You will be able to know yourself better and in a new perspective or a whole new way. Seeing your problems and secrets laid out will enable you to further improve on your weaknesses and vulnerability. For example..
You like someone and he/she doesn't feel the same way. You are confused and hurt as you really like that person very much.
Telling this to your close friend will help you to decide what your next step should be in approaching this matter. You will also have the courage to accept whatever consequences with the help and support of your friend.
2. Ability to cope stronger
Since someone else knows your deepest secret, you would not have to carry the heavy burden of keeping it from everyone's knowledge. You will feel relieved and happier too. And sometimes you will be able to see the solution that has been right under your nose all these while. Besides that, you are able to discuss it with your friend and receive help from them through advises and suggestions.
Copyright © Image created by Jay Shah, University of Colorado, Boulder, 2005, using MS Clipart. Copyright (c) 2004 Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052-6399 USA. All rights reserved.
3. Communication between you both improves
Now that you both have something to share and talk about, you will go deeper into the subject. At the same time, you will learn in time about each other and how to best communicate effectively with one another. You will begin to make lots of phone calls or send short messages (sms) via handphone, chatting online, or just simply hang out somewhere to talk. Self-disclosure helps to bridge the gap and allow you both to talk about many things.
4. Relationships become more meaningful and might blossom into something more.
Over time, you and your friend spent lots of time together talking about life, problem, relationship, etc. The friendship will soon become very important to you. If both of you are young ladies or guys, you will be very close friends. However if you and your close friend whom you disclose countless personal details to are of the opposite sex, you might find yourself falling in love and having a relationship with your best friend.
So you see, self-disclosure can benefit you in so many ways. However, be careful not to reveal your personal information to just about anyone. Choose wisely on whom you confide to. :)
Blogged by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
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