Sunday, November 15, 2009
21st century ...Century of mordern marvels in communcation
With the internet improving every minute ...every day 24/7 ....one has to appreciate the way our communication has been enhanced ...click of a button ...we chatting ....talking to someone ..a friend , family..lover...on another continent..at the same time ..money transfers been done online ...online banking ...shopping online....everything we do ..is just by a click of a button...mobile phones ...been upgraded to suit our needs of going online ..communication has been even made easier by the use of us accessing the internet in any wi-fi area were available...as a result were ever we are ..we able to communicate with eachother....and this is only the beginning ...for alot more to come....
admitting your weaknesses to your enemy
some say, a way to get out of trouble is to admit our wrongs...which is true...again others say admitting our weaknesses to our enemy makes them have a upper hand over us...do we want that? Enemy does not necessarily mean some one you do not like or hate but can also mean a rival either in work , school or in general society...weakness can be defined in fear of something or someone ...fear to achieve..fear to communicate..if we admit these to rivals in a group or to an individual ..we set ourselves far behind from reaching our targets and goals..because we admit it ...we give an upper hand or a head start for that person to get past us in whatever we doing ..and will take maximum advantage over us....A way of avoiding this is never admit a weakness...be bold n decision making....have maximum faith in your abilities...and use them to maximum...
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Approaches to Leadership
Researchers have identified severel views of leadership, which are termed approaches. There are several types of approaches.
1. The Traits Approach
2. The Functional Approach
4. The Situational Approach
1. The Traits Approach
- the traits approach views the leader as the one who possesses those characteristics or skill that contribute to leadership
2. The Functional Approach
- the functional approach to leadership focuses on what the leader should do in a given situation.
3. The Transformational Approach
- the transformational approach describes a "transformational" leader who elevates the group's members, enabling them not only to complete the group task but also to emerge as more empowered individuals.
4. The Situational Approach
- the situational approach holds that the successful leader adjusts his or her emphasis between task accomplishment and member satisfaction based on the specific group situation.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
Managing Communication Apprehension
The following suggestions will help you to reduce your communication apprehension, or stage fright.
1. Gain experience - with experience, your initial fear and anxieties will give way to feelings of control, comfort, and pleasure.
2. Think positively - to gain confidence, think positive thoughts and be espeacially thorough in your preparation.
3. See public speaking as conversation - to think of public speaking as another type of conversation.
4. Stress similarity - try to emphasize the similarity between yourself and your audience.
5. Prepare and practice thoroughly - adequate and even extra preparation will lessen the possibility of failure and the accompanying apprehension.
6. Move about and breathe deeply - physical activity and breathe deeply will help you lessen apprehension.
7. Avoid chemicals as tension relievers - unless prescribed by a physician, avoid any chemical means for reducing apprehension.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
1. Gain experience - with experience, your initial fear and anxieties will give way to feelings of control, comfort, and pleasure.
2. Think positively - to gain confidence, think positive thoughts and be espeacially thorough in your preparation.
3. See public speaking as conversation - to think of public speaking as another type of conversation.
4. Stress similarity - try to emphasize the similarity between yourself and your audience.
5. Prepare and practice thoroughly - adequate and even extra preparation will lessen the possibility of failure and the accompanying apprehension.
6. Move about and breathe deeply - physical activity and breathe deeply will help you lessen apprehension.
7. Avoid chemicals as tension relievers - unless prescribed by a physician, avoid any chemical means for reducing apprehension.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
Action speak louder than words.......
woooooowwww..i was like does this really apply in our everyday life??? well, yes it does. You see word of mouth though sweet and reassuring is nothing more than just anyone will want to hear. An example is when you have a little argument either with a friend , family member or lover, if you were wrong ,the other party will be expecting only one thing, an apology...a sorry...in other words, and if you do not even mean , you just say as long as i say sorry we are at peace, but look at it different using action ,taking her some flowers, preparing a meal , taking them out for a movie, or even just taking a walk with them, spending time with them, appreciating them, thereby apologising will make it easier, because of using action....action is a powerful communcation tool which never be ignored but used frequently..Roy Chikumbi
Music , a powerful tool in todays modern world
Music, whether from the past or present day is been used as a tool to get information to people. We are able to bring out feelings of happiness, sadness, joy and so on to others. It been a powerful communication tool, which as no barriers,applies to people of all ages old and young, we all litsen to music for different reasons, motivation can be one of them. When an individual is having an attraction for a girl ,lady or woman music in one way can make us know the right words to use,words so sweet that when that person gets to hear you say them or rather even listen to the words been sang in the song will actually motivate them to be attracted to you, cause you get to enjoy the same taste of music, a quality which makes both of have something in common. Music is important, appreaciate it, love it, litsen to it .....and enjoy it.....Roy Chikumbi
Monday, November 2, 2009
Primary relationship
What is a primary relationship? A primary relationship is a relationship between two people that the partners see as their most important interpersonal relationship. There are three basic types of primary relationship.
The first type is traditional couples. They share a basic belief system and philosophy of life.
The second type is independents couples. They stress their individuality. The relationship is important but never more important than each person’s individual identity.
The third type is separates couples. They live together, but they view their relationship more as a matter of convenience than a result of their mutual love or closeness.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
The first type is traditional couples. They share a basic belief system and philosophy of life.
The second type is independents couples. They stress their individuality. The relationship is important but never more important than each person’s individual identity.
The third type is separates couples. They live together, but they view their relationship more as a matter of convenience than a result of their mutual love or closeness.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
Sunday, November 1, 2009
angels and demons
when we talk about personality disorders we talk about people with two faces. this is what i mean when i talk about angels and demons. Most people now days have 2 sides in them. One side is when they conceal their biggest and darkest secrets and the other is where they look like the msot perfect person on the world. These kind of peolple are not the kind who will be very good in relationships no matter in friendship or any kind of that sort . that is why it is very important to draw the line between these people when u see signs of these people's characteristics changing.
written by: dharshinie vimalanathan
written by: dharshinie vimalanathan
phrases we tend to use
we come from a culture where communication now has become "advanced". What do i mean by "advanced"? Well we all know very well that now days communication has gone into the next level whereby people communicate with not only normal terms but they add on other "terms" in their topic conversation's. Im referring these "terms" as in valgure words used by people nowdays mostly students which somtimes are very shocking to here and with these terms being used it doesnt refelect on where they picked it up from it refeclts back on the our pur parents who have brought us uo to say such things. People always say that they want to make their parents proud by achieving all sorts of grades and becoming some famous person one day. But where does this all go to when words like these are used in away it is dissapointing our parent san literally we are putting them down. That is why it is very important for us to think before we let out what we're are speaking because it refeclts not on us but our parents.
written by: dharshinie vimalanathan
written by: dharshinie vimalanathan
manage conflict
In managing conflict, you can choose from a variety of productive or unproductive strategies. The strategies you choose will be influenced by numerous factors. Among them are:
1. Goals- what are you trying to achieve?
2. Emotional state- what is your feeling right now?
3. Cognitive assessment- what are you belief in?
4. Personality and communication competence- what are your characteristics?
5. Family history- how is your background?
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
1. Goals- what are you trying to achieve?
2. Emotional state- what is your feeling right now?
3. Cognitive assessment- what are you belief in?
4. Personality and communication competence- what are your characteristics?
5. Family history- how is your background?
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
relationship,frienships and relative
relationship,relatives and friendship all these need to be renew or let me say the are like fuel in the car,you cant drive it the whole entire year without putting fuel, that's the point i want to illustrate.we see marriage people after few years of marriage the start cheating or getting bored of the marriage its because we are not putting the spark back.do nice funny things you used to do make it go back as if it was the time you guys fell in love in that way you are watering the grass to be green again.just like friends its not normal everything his the one visiting,his the one buying you presents for your birthday let it be equal visit him as wel in that way you wont lose interest in each other.same applys to relative just because you are related does not mean love should side on one side,let the love be equal and visit each other oftenly to renew the love in that way you wont say he or she is my distannt cazen because this is exactly the truth.Roy chikumbi
Friday, October 30, 2009
leadership
some people say leaders are born and some say the are made,anyway to an extent yes their are born and to an extent you have to make them or you can make yourself.when i was in secondary i was chosen as a school prefect and to me it was so wired and so fake,i told myself what does the school see in me to be a prefect. As time went own i told myself i need to work hard so as to lead by example,at first it was hard but i did lead by example and i really made a good prefect because my math teacher used to tell me i know you will make a good prefect and i did make him proud.anyway the point i want to state is that when i was no one the school saw features which can lead but i had to be made to make a very good prefect and i did.so leader can only have qualities but need to work hard to make a good leader. Roy chikumbi
Sunday, October 25, 2009
love any race black or white
Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it and to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things lies in us..so lets love each other even if they is difference race and tribe...because god is the one who showed us love first.
friendships
A good friend is someone we can count on, as well as being so much more.
A friend is someone with whom we can relax and just hang out, have fun and
share our innermost thoughts--deep dark secrets, lofty and noble goals, or
our hopes, joys, and fears. A good friend allows you a safe space to share
your deepest thoughts and needs--without worry of being judged, criticized
or made to feel silly for feeling the way you do. Friends cheer each other on,
laugh and cry together, and just plain commiserate and listen to each other.
That's why friends are friends....when u are down they should be there for u. ROY CHIKUMBI
A friend is someone with whom we can relax and just hang out, have fun and
share our innermost thoughts--deep dark secrets, lofty and noble goals, or
our hopes, joys, and fears. A good friend allows you a safe space to share
your deepest thoughts and needs--without worry of being judged, criticized
or made to feel silly for feeling the way you do. Friends cheer each other on,
laugh and cry together, and just plain commiserate and listen to each other.
That's why friends are friends....when u are down they should be there for u. ROY CHIKUMBI
ConFlict sTylEs
The way in which you engage in conflict has consequences for the resolution of the conflict and for the relationship between the conflicting parties.
Competing: I win, You lose.
The competitive style involves great concern for your own needs and desires and little for those of others.
Avoiding: I lose, You lose
Conflict avoiders are relatively unconcerned with their own or with their opponents' needs or desires.
Accommodating: I lose, You win
In accommodating you sacrifice your own needs for the needs of the other person.
Collaborating: I win, You win
In collaborating you address both your own and the other person's needs.
Compromising: I win and lose, You win and lose
The compromising style is in the middle. There's some concern for your own needs and some concern for the other's needs.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
Competing: I win, You lose.
The competitive style involves great concern for your own needs and desires and little for those of others.
Avoiding: I lose, You lose
Conflict avoiders are relatively unconcerned with their own or with their opponents' needs or desires.
Accommodating: I lose, You win
In accommodating you sacrifice your own needs for the needs of the other person.
Collaborating: I win, You win
In collaborating you address both your own and the other person's needs.
Compromising: I win and lose, You win and lose
The compromising style is in the middle. There's some concern for your own needs and some concern for the other's needs.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
aTtraCtIoN
Attraction theory holds that people form relationships on the basis of attraction. If you are like most people, then you are attracted to others on the basis of four major factors.
It's easily appreciated that people like physically attractive people more than they like physically unattractive poeple.
Generally, people like those who are similar to them in nationality, race, ability, physical characteristics, intelligence, and attitudes. Sometimes people are attracted to their opposites in a pattern called complementarity.
Physical attractiveness and personality
Similarity
Generally, people like those who are similar to them in nationality, race, ability, physical characteristics, intelligence, and attitudes. Sometimes people are attracted to their opposites in a pattern called complementarity.Proximity
If you look around at people you find attractive, you will probably find that they are the people who live or work close to you.
Reinforcement
You're attracted to people who give rewards or reinforcement, which can range from simple compliment to an expensive cruise.
posted by,
Liew Li Hui
Sunday, October 18, 2009
team work!!!
i think team work is very important in anything we do or in any type of cooperation. Team work is where a group of people learn how to work together and learn about each other;s ideas and combine them. No doubt there would be difference of opinion among the group members that is normal and it is when the team has to work harder to overcome the problems and make their work a success in the end. Team building is important WHY?? It basically tells you alot about a person when you are working with them in a team. It tells you whether they are cooperating or demanding or any like that. This is where communication is very important between group members. It helps you gage how a person is.
written by
Dharshinie Vimalanathan
written by
Dharshinie Vimalanathan
VAGUE
Take A Look At The Picture Below
If you’re done gaga-ing the picture, please do read the content below.
When you are explaining about the car, you will start by describing it vaguely or in abstraction. But when someone ask more question about the car, only then will you describe it in detail.
For example, it is a red car, it is a sports car, the car is manufactured by Ferrari, the type of the car is Ferrari Enzo, the car itself cost a million dollars. Can you see that I started in a very vaguely manner? And I continued to describe with more detail towards the end.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
For example, it is a red car, it is a sports car, the car is manufactured by Ferrari, the type of the car is Ferrari Enzo, the car itself cost a million dollars. Can you see that I started in a very vaguely manner? And I continued to describe with more detail towards the end.
Communication is a form of art??
Do you think communication is a form of art???
In my opinion i think it is. WHY?? well basically along the years people have found new ways to communicate within each other verbally and non-verbally. It is very interesting to know how sometimes people come up with various ways and sign languages that help them communicate. Why do i agree that communication is a form of art? MAny people express their feelings through their art paintings and art is a very subjective thing it comes in many forms that is why i agrees to say that communication is a form of art. For example. coming up with sign languages to communicate among each other is an art piece of communication that help to people relate to each other. Art is the same thing it helps someone express their feelings to the world. That is why i think it is very important how we express our feelings to other people and expressing is one thing wether the person understands it is another...
written by
Dharshinie Vimalanathan
In my opinion i think it is. WHY?? well basically along the years people have found new ways to communicate within each other verbally and non-verbally. It is very interesting to know how sometimes people come up with various ways and sign languages that help them communicate. Why do i agree that communication is a form of art? MAny people express their feelings through their art paintings and art is a very subjective thing it comes in many forms that is why i agrees to say that communication is a form of art. For example. coming up with sign languages to communicate among each other is an art piece of communication that help to people relate to each other. Art is the same thing it helps someone express their feelings to the world. That is why i think it is very important how we express our feelings to other people and expressing is one thing wether the person understands it is another...
written by
Dharshinie Vimalanathan
Saturday, October 17, 2009
WAR
How can one achieve peace and harmony? Have you ever wondered why and how did the war in the United States of America and Iraq erupted? Was it just a misunderstanding or did they agree to not agree with each other? The truth is out there for you to find out.
If we expect to have peace, then we should start by trying to achieve peace as an individual, a family, a society and finally the whole country. When this is done, automatically the country will gain peace and harmony.
Although peace is not easy to attain and attitudes like greed and selfishness always starts a war, it is said and proved to be possible. A war usually starts when some are not satisfied with what they have, they just wants to grab others properties. So, as the LITE becomes drunk with greed in grabbing a part of our beautiful Motherland, this unfortunate war started.
To conquer peace and have a better place to live in, rather than changing everyone else, we should start with the man in the mirror.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Emoticons
there are some emoticons used in computer communication espeacially in MSN.
I'm sure we all are familiar with it.
for example, :-) means smile and :-( means sad.
all these emoticons help you to display emotions when you are chatting online with friends.
finally, i wish Mr. Murali "Happy Deepavali" and my groupmates "good luck" for the coming exam. (^.^)
posted by Liew Li Hui ^^
I'm sure we all are familiar with it.
for example, :-) means smile and :-( means sad.
all these emoticons help you to display emotions when you are chatting online with friends.
finally, i wish Mr. Murali "Happy Deepavali" and my groupmates "good luck" for the coming exam. (^.^)
posted by Liew Li Hui ^^
Meanings of colorzz..
different colors have different meaning. they can have positive meaning and also negative meaning.
for example, RED can signifies as good luck but also can signifies anger and danger.
it is just a matter of view.
it depends on how you feel about it.
YELLOW signifies wealth and authority but sometimes it signifies envy and jealous.
posted by Liew Li Hui ^^
for example, RED can signifies as good luck but also can signifies anger and danger.
it is just a matter of view.
it depends on how you feel about it.
YELLOW signifies wealth and authority but sometimes it signifies envy and jealous.
posted by Liew Li Hui ^^
Friday, October 16, 2009
Greetings and Wishes
From all of us here in this blog,
Also..
Happy Deepavali to everyone especially Mr Murali !
Also..
All the best to all who are facing exams. :)
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Cultural context of conflicts
Cultural context of conflicts
Blog Entry 002 for week 7.
The cultural context of conflicts; there are 2 types which are cultural differences and gender difference respectively. Culturally, conflicts centres on the cause that people fight for and the right ways of handling the conflict. This is further divided in to 2 orientation; collectivist and individualist. Collectivist members tend to avoid conflict to save face.
Example,
In a collectionist culture, it is forbidden to correct another person bluntly as face saving is highly practised. Thus, conflict might arise should such behaviour been shown for it is considered rude culturally.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 002 for week 7.
The cultural context of conflicts; there are 2 types which are cultural differences and gender difference respectively. Culturally, conflicts centres on the cause that people fight for and the right ways of handling the conflict. This is further divided in to 2 orientation; collectivist and individualist. Collectivist members tend to avoid conflict to save face.
Example,
In a collectionist culture, it is forbidden to correct another person bluntly as face saving is highly practised. Thus, conflict might arise should such behaviour been shown for it is considered rude culturally.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Conflicts
Conflicts
Blog Entry 001 week 7
Conflicts are confrontations that is acknowledged by both sides of arguing parties. Conflicts can give good advantage such as addressing important issues and subsequently giving strength to relationship when both parties involved are satisfied.
Example
A friend is annoyed by a particular behaviour of her roommate thus, take charge to confront the roommate by explaining, listening and reasoning. As a result, bugging issues are solved.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 001 week 7
Conflicts are confrontations that is acknowledged by both sides of arguing parties. Conflicts can give good advantage such as addressing important issues and subsequently giving strength to relationship when both parties involved are satisfied.
Example
A friend is annoyed by a particular behaviour of her roommate thus, take charge to confront the roommate by explaining, listening and reasoning. As a result, bugging issues are solved.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Greatest love
Greatest love
Blog Entry 002 week 6
Generally, there are many kind of love such as eros (love for beautiful physical appearance), ludic (love for fun) storge (the calm/ peaceful love) pragma ( practical love) manic (obsessive love) and agapic love ( selfless love).
Agapic love is the greatest love of all due to its selfless nature. Agapic love could be seen between a mother and her baby, activists and good people.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 002 week 6
Generally, there are many kind of love such as eros (love for beautiful physical appearance), ludic (love for fun) storge (the calm/ peaceful love) pragma ( practical love) manic (obsessive love) and agapic love ( selfless love).
Agapic love is the greatest love of all due to its selfless nature. Agapic love could be seen between a mother and her baby, activists and good people.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Types of interpersonal relationship; Friendship
Types of interpersonal relationship; Friendship
Blog Entry 001 week 6
One of the most prominent types of interpersonal relationship is friendship. It is divided into three which is friendship of reciprocity, receptivity and association.
Friendship of reciprocity is a 100% mutual relationship. In other words, both parties involved in this kind of relationship give and take equally.
Example
When a best friend puts lots of efforts of finding the best gift for her best friend wedding, the same is done onto her by her best friend when she gets married.
Friendship of receptivity is a relationship with unequal input and output from both sides, such as one party benefits more than the other. Nevertheless, both still profit from this kind of relationship for one side has high capacity to receive and the other, high capacity to give. In simpler words, this kind of relationship comes about when one party requires certain needs and the other party could accommodate the need due to his/her expertise.
Example
A weak student gets tutorial from a good student. The weak student a benefit by gaining knowledge and the good student gets to strengthens his/her memory by teaching someone else what one already knows.
Friendship of association is a temporary relationship@ surface level relationship. In majority, this kind of relationship is practical based relationship. It does not involve much emotions compared to the other two. This type of relationship has minimal give and take in all aspects.
Examples of friendships of association could be seen between a new employee with her new boss.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 001 week 6
One of the most prominent types of interpersonal relationship is friendship. It is divided into three which is friendship of reciprocity, receptivity and association.
Friendship of reciprocity is a 100% mutual relationship. In other words, both parties involved in this kind of relationship give and take equally.
Example
When a best friend puts lots of efforts of finding the best gift for her best friend wedding, the same is done onto her by her best friend when she gets married.
Friendship of receptivity is a relationship with unequal input and output from both sides, such as one party benefits more than the other. Nevertheless, both still profit from this kind of relationship for one side has high capacity to receive and the other, high capacity to give. In simpler words, this kind of relationship comes about when one party requires certain needs and the other party could accommodate the need due to his/her expertise.
Example
A weak student gets tutorial from a good student. The weak student a benefit by gaining knowledge and the good student gets to strengthens his/her memory by teaching someone else what one already knows.
Friendship of association is a temporary relationship@ surface level relationship. In majority, this kind of relationship is practical based relationship. It does not involve much emotions compared to the other two. This type of relationship has minimal give and take in all aspects.
Examples of friendships of association could be seen between a new employee with her new boss.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
a smile that speaks a 1000 words
did you know a smile gives alot of meaning??it doesnt necesarrily mean that one is happy when they just flawnt a smile across their face.
i know this one person whom no matter what problem she faces she puts a smile on her face. The funny thing is that she does it so well that u can barely notice that she is sad about anything unless you are like really close to her. So much so when people look at her they think that she's the happiest person on earth..but actually if your close to her you will kow the problems that she goes through are just the hardest things she has to live with just by putting a smile on her face.
by Dharshinie Vimalanathan
i know this one person whom no matter what problem she faces she puts a smile on her face. The funny thing is that she does it so well that u can barely notice that she is sad about anything unless you are like really close to her. So much so when people look at her they think that she's the happiest person on earth..but actually if your close to her you will kow the problems that she goes through are just the hardest things she has to live with just by putting a smile on her face.
by Dharshinie Vimalanathan
relationships is like playing soccer
relationship is like playing soccer,we see all these big names christiano,fabregas,hennry all these names did not just come up, the put so much hard work in the things they do because you know why if you are not practicing you be left out of the team and if you dont impress the coach more oftenly you are likely to be one of the guys siting on the beach.just like relationship its need attention and a lots of commitment because if you dont commit yourself the relationship one of the two will get bored and tired then the will move on to live their lives.just like when we are marking for a chick,we do almost everything to get the girl and when we do we become stupid beccause we dont have anyone to produce the spark .thats why ams saying relationships are like soccer you need to be commited to make the relationship and need to produce a spark everytime you feel its fading.by roy chikumbi
Pride & Prejudice
Have you seen or heard about Pride & Prejudice, a book written by Jane Austen? The best-selling book was then made into a movie played by Keira Knightley and was released in 2006.
Mr. Bennet is an English gentleman living in Hertfordshire with his overbearing wife. The Bennet’s 5 daughters include the beautiful Jane, the clever Elizabeth, the bookish Mary, the immature Kitty and the wild Lydia. These girls have been raised by their mother with one purpose in life: finding a husband.
The story then focuses on Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. When the wealthy bachelor Mr. Bingley and his best friend Mr. Darcy arrive in town to spend the summer in a mansion nearby their property, the shy and beautiful Jane falls in love for Mr. Bingley, but Elizabeth finds Mr. Darcy a snobbish and a proud man, and she swears to loathe him forever.
This is a good example of people rushing to make assumptions, where Elizabeth jumps to conclusion assuming that Mr. Darcy is a proud man without truly knowing him. She refuses to get to know him better and know him as a person, instead she judged him based on her first impression of him.
Towards the end of the story, Elizabeth realised that she has mistakenly assume Mr. Darcy. He turns out to be the total opposite to what she thought he would be. She ends up falling for him, and was asked for her hand in marriage by Mr. Darcy himself.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
money plays a role in relationship
when i was growing up i thought relationship is all a about beauty and love and money is never involved but to come and think of it now in this generation we are living in money plays a big role,i agree the are people who love each other just for the sake of love but the question is how long can you hold on to a relationship where they is no money sooner or later she will get fade up and she will live.for example talking through experience i have a really close friend who is very cute and the boyfriend is very handsome that both of them take the attention of everyone when we go out or something its either on one side the guys will be marking the girl or the other way round,but the problem with this relationship is that the man is not a fighter,meaning his owez relying on the girl to feed him keep him,pay for his food at school,pay for the rent and pay for the bill in the club but the thing is no matter how much that girl love him how long is she going to hold on,yes he may have the face,body and all but the girl needs to be taken care of,needs shelter and lastly girls need to be spoiled once in a while.so to get back to my point no matter how cute and handsome you are,you have to be independent and you should owez be a fighter because girls like people who are hard working.thats the reason why we find alot of old men or not very good looking but his dating a very cute girl its because the gils like to be take care of and spoiled a litle,so as for me money plays a role in a relationship by roy chikumbi
Take A Good Look
When people are conversing, they tend to make facial expressions that they don’t even realise. Facial expressions are sometimes made without their conscious mind, it comes naturally. Facial expressions are shown without needing to say anything because it is a form of nonverbal communication.
When people sense some kind of a smell that they like or despise their positions of the muscles of the face will start to change. We can tell so much by only looking at one’s face. It can be a lot of meanings to what they are expressing on their face. For instance, if a person is feeling sad, happy, annoyed or doubt, we can predict their emotion by just looking at their face.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Workplace relationship
Workplace relationship especially workplace romances, provide a unique perspective on the advantages and disadvantages of relationships. Some people say that workplace romance will affect the effectiveness of work, but some them may disagree with the statement. If you can manage it well, I think everything should be fine.
One of my friends is having workplace romance. At the beginning, they are just friend. They work together and always help each other. After 4 years being such a close friend, they fell in love with each other. Both of them realized that efficiency and effectiveness of the work is important in this case. Hence, they decided that they will only meet after work. In the office, they are just like normal friend and perform their own task.
This kind of relationship didn’t affect their work but help them a lot in the working place or outside the office. They can talk about their work happily and share their own experiences. At the end, they get married and live a happy life.
Is it all workplace romances are bad? Not necessary. It is only depends on how you handle it. As mentioned above, if you can manage it well, nobody will disagree with it, just like my friend.
Posted by Liew Li Hui
One of my friends is having workplace romance. At the beginning, they are just friend. They work together and always help each other. After 4 years being such a close friend, they fell in love with each other. Both of them realized that efficiency and effectiveness of the work is important in this case. Hence, they decided that they will only meet after work. In the office, they are just like normal friend and perform their own task.
This kind of relationship didn’t affect their work but help them a lot in the working place or outside the office. They can talk about their work happily and share their own experiences. At the end, they get married and live a happy life.
Is it all workplace romances are bad? Not necessary. It is only depends on how you handle it. As mentioned above, if you can manage it well, nobody will disagree with it, just like my friend.
Posted by Liew Li Hui
Love
What is love all about? Why we can know how to love without teaching by anyone? Why love is so important in our life? Love is a beautiful word. It is a kind of feeling that deep in our heart. However, there are many types of love such as eros love, ludic love, agapic love and much more. Today, let us talk about agapic love.
Firstly, what is agapic love? Agapic love is a compassionate and selfless love. We can understand it from our parents. Most of the parents love their children very much, even more than their live. When you are in trouble, who supports you the most? When you are a child, who protects you the most? Although there are some irresponsible parents who do not care about their children, but most of the parents did showing agapic love.Our mothers give birth to us. Do you know how hard for your mom to born a baby? They don’t even care about the risk while in the process of delivering a baby. If something goes wrong, they may suffer from unnecessary consequences. Can you imagine how much courage they should have? Our father, he needs to work hard to ensure the family members can live a better life. He also acts as our role model, teach us a lot of things. Love from our parents is selfless. What they care is their children but not themselves. They always place their son or daughter in the first place. Can you have this kind of love towards your parents?
If you are with your parents now, don’t be shy to give them a big warm hug. If you are away from them, give them a call. Trust me, I’m sure that they will be very happy even just a simple call.
Posted by Liew Li Hui
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Facial management
Facial management
Blog Entry 002 week 5
Facial management is one of the most important forms of nonverbal self expression. Mainly it is used to conceal or highlight ones emotion to the listener. There are five types of it which are to intensify, deintensify, neutralize, mask and simulate. All five are utilised to please people, save face of others, to protect others feelings, to defend ego and to empathise. A simple example of masking is as below.
Situation
A mother in hunger manage to facially express she is full and give all scarce food left to her child at the sight of her child’s insatiable hunger.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 002 week 5
Facial management is one of the most important forms of nonverbal self expression. Mainly it is used to conceal or highlight ones emotion to the listener. There are five types of it which are to intensify, deintensify, neutralize, mask and simulate. All five are utilised to please people, save face of others, to protect others feelings, to defend ego and to empathise. A simple example of masking is as below.
Situation
A mother in hunger manage to facially express she is full and give all scarce food left to her child at the sight of her child’s insatiable hunger.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Nonverbal gives accent to verbal messages
Nonverbal gives accent to verbal messages.
Blog Entry 001 week 5
There are many crucial functions of nonverbal messages. One of it is to give accent to verbal messages. While messages are conveyed verbally, nonverbal could be used to add stress or accentuate verbal messages. This could be done via physical movement, voice volume and intonation, or by facial expression. This particular function nonverbal message is important to reduce message ambiguity or abstraction; for emotion plays major role in determining the level of seriousness of a verbal message.
Example
A father when giving a serious warning regarding safety to his child should show nonverbal accent of authority so that a child would understand that his father is not telling him a joke and pay attention closely.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 001 week 5
There are many crucial functions of nonverbal messages. One of it is to give accent to verbal messages. While messages are conveyed verbally, nonverbal could be used to add stress or accentuate verbal messages. This could be done via physical movement, voice volume and intonation, or by facial expression. This particular function nonverbal message is important to reduce message ambiguity or abstraction; for emotion plays major role in determining the level of seriousness of a verbal message.
Example
A father when giving a serious warning regarding safety to his child should show nonverbal accent of authority so that a child would understand that his father is not telling him a joke and pay attention closely.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Messages Symbolize Parts of Reality
Messages Symbolize Parts of Reality.
Blog Entry 002 week 4
It is important to note that words and sentences are just representation of reality as in objects, people and events. Nevertheless, when a person acts as if words and sentences represent reality, this might demonstrate that the individual is intensional oriented if not acting with allness attitude. Intensional orientation is putting labels or schema on people, objects and events before checking first if the labels attached is indeed true. Extensional orientation is the opposite; people who seek evidence first then make a schema out of the acquired evidence. Allness thinking is putting things in categories without sufficient knowledge @ jumping into conclusion by drawing schema on the unknown things. Example is as shown below.
Situation
An elder sister tells everyone that her baby sister is a brat. Those who believe the elder sister before getting to know the baby sister is subjected to intensional orientation. The baby sister after several mistreatment by the strangers introduced by the elder sister, starts to conclude that all strangers are harmful, is showing a form of allness thinking. This situation could be overcome by applying extensional oriented approach.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 002 week 4
It is important to note that words and sentences are just representation of reality as in objects, people and events. Nevertheless, when a person acts as if words and sentences represent reality, this might demonstrate that the individual is intensional oriented if not acting with allness attitude. Intensional orientation is putting labels or schema on people, objects and events before checking first if the labels attached is indeed true. Extensional orientation is the opposite; people who seek evidence first then make a schema out of the acquired evidence. Allness thinking is putting things in categories without sufficient knowledge @ jumping into conclusion by drawing schema on the unknown things. Example is as shown below.
Situation
An elder sister tells everyone that her baby sister is a brat. Those who believe the elder sister before getting to know the baby sister is subjected to intensional orientation. The baby sister after several mistreatment by the strangers introduced by the elder sister, starts to conclude that all strangers are harmful, is showing a form of allness thinking. This situation could be overcome by applying extensional oriented approach.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Messages Can Obscure Distinctions
Messages Can Obscure Distinctions
Blog Entry 001 week 4
One of the way messages can obscure distinctions is by polarization. Polarization is the tendency of putting things into either end of a bell curve @ extremities. It is in a way a form of dualism; right or wrong / yes or no. An example is as shown below.
Situation
A materialistic person who views the world to consist of only either a person successful (rich) or failure (poor) people is demonstrating polarization.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 001 week 4
One of the way messages can obscure distinctions is by polarization. Polarization is the tendency of putting things into either end of a bell curve @ extremities. It is in a way a form of dualism; right or wrong / yes or no. An example is as shown below.
Situation
A materialistic person who views the world to consist of only either a person successful (rich) or failure (poor) people is demonstrating polarization.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
understand freindship
at times we tend to miss understand between who real friends are and who party friends are. then we start to loose it all when we need advice and have personal ideas to talk about. a real friend will always be convinient in all situations no matter what comes up in our lives. am happy to be freinds with you boy. you have really changed my life to become a better person living no barriers aside. you really have been there and i really dont ever regreat making you a freind at any one time, thank you for being my freind. by roy chikumbi
impressions
it always good to get correct impressions,many times we end up to get wrong impressions and judge to that then when things dont work out as we planned we get dissapointed and we blame other people for the wrong impressions we took.sometimes in class we do that to lecturers as well due to certain ways they carry themselves , the ways they dress and all that kind of things. my major issue this afternoon is to urge everyone to stop judging others because its not good but rather have an aim of meeting everyone with an open mind. hope this will change someone tonight.by roy chikumbi
nOn-veRbaL coMmunIcaTioN
In our daily life, there are many kinds of communication between you and me. Generally, there can be categorized as verbal and non-verbal communication. When we communicate with others by saying words, that is consider a verbal communication. If we show our feeling or message without saying a word but using a gesture or body language, that is so called non-verbal communication. For the topic on today, let us focus on non-verbal communication.
In non-verbal communication, there are many sub categories like body language, body appearance, facial expression and so on. Body language is send through body movement such as emblems, illustrators, affect displays, and many more. All those are the natural respond when you encounter with particular situation. What will you do when you see a huge crocodile in front of you? I think most of us will run as fast as we can without saying a single word. This is considered part of the body languages.
Body appearance is our height, weight, race, and hair color. If you are a tall guy, others may assume that you are a basketball player. Somehow, body appearance does bring some information to others because people can roughly guess about you. Whereas facial expression is something related to feelings. Happiness, surprise, fear, anger, and sadness are all the examples of facial expression. The feeling you show on the face can communicate with others. When you are angry, your face will turn red and others will know that even you did not tell a word.
In conclusion, non-verbal communication plays an important role in our life. It may bring benefits for you, but be careful that it may also destroy your image. Always analyze our own non-verbal communication patterns to ensure that we still able to communicate with the people around cheerfully although in a silent mode.
Posted by Liew Li Hui
Silence
What is silence? According to dictionary, silence is the absence of sound. I guess most of us done this before. We did it without notice almost anytime and anywhere. Why we silence? Have you think about it? Silence do have its own functions in certain circumstances. What are they?
Sometimes we silence because we want to give ourselves a moment to think and prepare for something. Before we spell out a sentence, we need to think and prepare for it. For example, when a boss scolding a staff, he will need to think and prepare the sentence to reduce the harmfulness to the minimum towards the staff. During this second, the boss silence. Silence is also a type of behavior or response to personal anxiety. We will automatically become silence when we are nervous.
This is because noise will make our though become worse, so we need to keep quiet in order to calm down ourselves.
Prevent communication is also one of the functions of silence. For those people you really don’t like to talk with, your silence take place to prevent unnecessary arguments with them especially in front of public. Have you come with the situation that when you tell your friend something but he or she didn’t give you any response? In this situation, your friend may have nothing to comment or say. We do have met this situation before, don’t you?
Sometimes we are not feel like talking. In this condition, why don’t we just silence for a while?
Posted by Liew Li Hui
*wink* ;)
Today's topic is on FOOTBALL.
Remember in the previous World Cup when the controversy and rumours of Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal successfully helped sent off Wayne Rooney of the England squad who also happens to be his then clubmate?
Apparently, C.Ronaldo winked to the bench after the referee shows the red card to Rooney. Many fans and critics speculated that Ronaldo had every intention to reduce the England to ten players and help his team to move on to the next round. If you watch the video, it is towards the middle that you would see it.
The possible meaning behind the winking could probably meant "I did it" or "You are most welcome". Whatever it was, the wink was very ambigous as it can be anything and everything. Therefore, we have to be very careful with our actions and be ready to accept the consequences of our actions. In other words, we must be concious of our body language at all times.
Blogger by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
Remember in the previous World Cup when the controversy and rumours of Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal successfully helped sent off Wayne Rooney of the England squad who also happens to be his then clubmate?
Apparently, C.Ronaldo winked to the bench after the referee shows the red card to Rooney. Many fans and critics speculated that Ronaldo had every intention to reduce the England to ten players and help his team to move on to the next round. If you watch the video, it is towards the middle that you would see it.
The possible meaning behind the winking could probably meant "I did it" or "You are most welcome". Whatever it was, the wink was very ambigous as it can be anything and everything. Therefore, we have to be very careful with our actions and be ready to accept the consequences of our actions. In other words, we must be concious of our body language at all times.
Blogger by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
Honesty Is Hardly Ever Heard
The song above was released in 1978 and is one of my mum’s favourite songs. So yes, most of you may not even been born yet and you might not recognize the song or the artist.
I posted up the song because I was attracted by its lyrics and the truthfulness of the words used. It’s hard for me to choose a favourite sentence because there are so many of them to choose from. So I’m picking two paragraphs of the song.
I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.
Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.
The song is about how hard it is to get people to be honest. Its hard to believe people and gain their trust. People often lies than telling the truth most of the time, and so honesty is hardly ever heard. I can somehow relate to this song because I have trust issue and I don’t share my stories easily to people. It’s hard for me to open up.
Communication may not only be express through conversation or body language, it can also be conveying through songs, lyrics and singing. The song is a good example how one person is expressing his opinion on how it is hard to find honesty.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Everyone Has It's Faults
Stereotyping is what we do best. We can’t run from judging people, even the most innocent person do critic people around them.
For example, people stereotype other people by the colour of their skin. Stereotyping is not necessarily a bad thing because when we choose to talk about basketball with a black man, we consider them to be the superior player in those sports.
Though there is some stereotyping that is negative. For example like the judgement that people have towards women. They expect women to be the one who stayed at home cooking and cleaning the house while the men go out to earn money. But in fact it can go the other way around or maybe both of them can work.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Saturday, October 3, 2009
STARE INTO ME EYES !!
Hey all ! It is the mid-autumn festival today. Happy Mooncake Festival all !
So anyway, I was thinking. The mooncakes these look real small. Small as in TINY. My dad brought home one just now. I was just staring at it, mystified by the size and shape as well as the precise decoration on it. It is small enough to just eat it whole in one bite.
As I continue to stare at it, my mum was looking at me. We made eye contact for a moment and laughed out loud. She just knew my all too well. I wanted to eat it but I can't. It was my dad's mooncake. Haha. :)
So yeah. Eye contact says alot. It is such an important non-verbal communication. It CANNOT lie. Therefore, next time when you suspect someone is lying to you, STARE at his/her eyes. They will tell you the answer you need and want to know.
Tata for now..
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie the me(L)anie. Hehe. =)
So anyway, I was thinking. The mooncakes these look real small. Small as in TINY. My dad brought home one just now. I was just staring at it, mystified by the size and shape as well as the precise decoration on it. It is small enough to just eat it whole in one bite.
As I continue to stare at it, my mum was looking at me. We made eye contact for a moment and laughed out loud. She just knew my all too well. I wanted to eat it but I can't. It was my dad's mooncake. Haha. :)
So yeah. Eye contact says alot. It is such an important non-verbal communication. It CANNOT lie. Therefore, next time when you suspect someone is lying to you, STARE at his/her eyes. They will tell you the answer you need and want to know.
Tata for now..
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie the me(L)anie. Hehe. =)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Surface and Depth listening
Surface and Depth listening
Blog Entry 002 week 3
Surface listening is deriving literal meaning while depth is going deeper for underlying message of the speaker which may oppose literal meaning or totally have nothing to do with it.
Situation
A friend says with nonverbal showing curiosity “ I wonder what your house looks like”. Literally, the speaker might be asking for description. But deeper listening might show he is waiting for the listener to invite him to the listener’s house.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 002 week 3
Surface listening is deriving literal meaning while depth is going deeper for underlying message of the speaker which may oppose literal meaning or totally have nothing to do with it.
Situation
A friend says with nonverbal showing curiosity “ I wonder what your house looks like”. Literally, the speaker might be asking for description. But deeper listening might show he is waiting for the listener to invite him to the listener’s house.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Empathetic Listening
Empathetic Listening
Blog Entry 001 week 3
Empathetic listening could be divided by 2: Thinking empathy understanding the speaker cognitively whilst feeling empathy is understanding the speaker’s emotions. To put in simpler words, emphatic listening is listening to understand how a speaker is thinking and what he is feeling. Although one should put self in same shoe as the speaker, it is important for the listener to listen objectively with detachment. That is although one is to see from the same point of view as the speaker, one should not agree with everything the speaker said. Refer to the example below.
Situation
A friend complained that her son is extremely naughty and how she would hit the child to discipline him. As a listener, one may empathise the speaker of her problem but at the same time have the right to disagree what is heard.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 001 week 3
Empathetic listening could be divided by 2: Thinking empathy understanding the speaker cognitively whilst feeling empathy is understanding the speaker’s emotions. To put in simpler words, emphatic listening is listening to understand how a speaker is thinking and what he is feeling. Although one should put self in same shoe as the speaker, it is important for the listener to listen objectively with detachment. That is although one is to see from the same point of view as the speaker, one should not agree with everything the speaker said. Refer to the example below.
Situation
A friend complained that her son is extremely naughty and how she would hit the child to discipline him. As a listener, one may empathise the speaker of her problem but at the same time have the right to disagree what is heard.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Self Fulfilling Prophecy
Self Fulfilling Prophecy
Blog Entry 002 week 3
Self Fulfilling Prophecy is when a person believes in something and making effort to achieve it. It is what happens when one expects a good thing as in the outcome and works for it and the result is as the individual expected. When the person sees the outcome and believe that his/her expectation is confirmed, self fulfilling prophecy existed. Vice versa if expectation is negative, the outcome will be negative. This theory is important for its effects on one’s self esteem self concept.
Situation
A cancer patient upon hearing she has cancer believes that if she fights it she could survive longer. It is proven statistically that such cancer patient has a greater chance of success to survive than those who initial believe is otherwise.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 002 week 3
Self Fulfilling Prophecy is when a person believes in something and making effort to achieve it. It is what happens when one expects a good thing as in the outcome and works for it and the result is as the individual expected. When the person sees the outcome and believe that his/her expectation is confirmed, self fulfilling prophecy existed. Vice versa if expectation is negative, the outcome will be negative. This theory is important for its effects on one’s self esteem self concept.
Situation
A cancer patient upon hearing she has cancer believes that if she fights it she could survive longer. It is proven statistically that such cancer patient has a greater chance of success to survive than those who initial believe is otherwise.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Self disclosure
Self disclosure
Blog Entry 001 week 3
Self disclosure is a form of communication by which previously concealed details of the communicator are exposed or made available for interpretation, analysis or mental processing. In simpler words, self disclosure is giving away information of oneself. This could happen verbal and nonverbally and most of the time consciously.
The rewards of self-disclosure are many. By self disclosing, a person may gain more insight @ new perspective of oneself; it is part of Johari window that there are information about ourselves that we do not know but others know @ our blind self. Self disclosure is also how relationship begins and bonding takes place. Guilt could also be better dealt with when self disclosure is applied besides advanced level of communication could be achieved as the individual is better understood as in their unique traits cognitively and behaviourally ; what kind of person one is and what are the do’s and don’ts of communicating with them. However, the dangers of self disclosure are not to be taken lightly. Self disclosure practised without cautiousness may effect a person personally, professionally and even one’s relationships.
This is could be seen in US President Barrack Obama’s speech when he made a trip to a school 3 Wednesdays ago. In his speech he warns the audience of the lack of caution of self disclosing online. To reflect, lately there are many cases where employee’s are fired for information about themselves they put online besides potential candidates getting not hired; their disclosure in particular on the social networks.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Blog Entry 001 week 3
Self disclosure is a form of communication by which previously concealed details of the communicator are exposed or made available for interpretation, analysis or mental processing. In simpler words, self disclosure is giving away information of oneself. This could happen verbal and nonverbally and most of the time consciously.
The rewards of self-disclosure are many. By self disclosing, a person may gain more insight @ new perspective of oneself; it is part of Johari window that there are information about ourselves that we do not know but others know @ our blind self. Self disclosure is also how relationship begins and bonding takes place. Guilt could also be better dealt with when self disclosure is applied besides advanced level of communication could be achieved as the individual is better understood as in their unique traits cognitively and behaviourally ; what kind of person one is and what are the do’s and don’ts of communicating with them. However, the dangers of self disclosure are not to be taken lightly. Self disclosure practised without cautiousness may effect a person personally, professionally and even one’s relationships.
This is could be seen in US President Barrack Obama’s speech when he made a trip to a school 3 Wednesdays ago. In his speech he warns the audience of the lack of caution of self disclosing online. To reflect, lately there are many cases where employee’s are fired for information about themselves they put online besides potential candidates getting not hired; their disclosure in particular on the social networks.
Posted by Wan Hani Arifah B0802457
Asian Parents Are Not Crazy Or Are They?
A continuous to the above video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwGdzqDdZwA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZINX44xaQXI
So what do you think of the video? Do you find it funny or rude? It really depends on you. If you ask me, I find it VERY funny indeed. Some things that he said might be true but the other bits and pieces are just made up for the sake of comedy. I don’t blame him anyway. It’s hilarious!
This video is actually made to portrait the perceptions of people other than Asians, what they think of Asian parents. Yes, it is true that most Asian parents are concern about their children’s education, they tend to be stricter on that area but they are not that extreme like what is showed in the video. Though some are?
Perceptions are sometimes made up out of nothing and some are planted in their mind since they were an infant. Like for example, a race have some ideas about another race, the way they talk, the way they think, the way the act and even the way they live. They were taught by their parents to be racist. Like the video I watched the other day, a Malay girl went to a shop with the intention of buying batteries. She was approach by a Chinese boy and the conversation goes like this.
Chinese boy : Apa you mau beli?
Chinese boy : Awak mau beli apa?
Malay girl : Battery 2A ada?
Chinese boy : Ada.
He gave her a baby milk bottle.
Malay girl : Ni botol la. (she giggled)
Chinese boy : Sorry. (while smiling and he hand her the battery)
Chinese boy : Dua ringgit.
Then she took a few candies in a bottle.
Malay girl : Ni satu berapa?
Chinese boy : Dua puluh sen.
Malay girl : Saya ada lima belas sen aje… tak cukup.
They where then interrupted by the Chinese boy’s mother.
Chinese boy’s mother : Hey, why the long conversation with the Malay girl?! (in Mandarin)
Chinese boy : I’m coming. (in Mandarin) (said with an annoyed face)
Chinese boy : Tak cukup tak payah beli lah!
Malay girl : (she smiled after making a slightly sad face) Sorry, terima kasih.
This may look like a meaningless story but it had made an impact on me. It shows me that the Chinese boy was actually taught not to have mingled with other races. He quickly replied her with a rude manner after being sounded by his mother.
What do you think?
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Let's Make A U-turn
In relationships you will always have lots of misunderstanding and arguments. So, may I ask you a simple question? Have you ever been in a position where communication did not go as you wanted and you wished you could take back what you said or do a U-turn and reverse on what you have said, done or thought about? I certainly have.
Here is a typical situation that might have happened for many of us where it might be shrewd to do a ‘reverse’ and do things differently to create a diverse outcome for you, your partner and your relationship…
Try and imagine that your significant other, spouse or someone you love does something unexpected, not something that you would agree on, and when you get angry about it, the other person becomes very defensive trying to defend themselves, lashes out at you or withdraws. You get no where talking to each other, let alone understanding each other.
This example is one of the common problems in communication for young and old couples or any people who live or work together, and I bet that you have experienced something alike and would like to know how to resolve these kinds of problems.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Here is a typical situation that might have happened for many of us where it might be shrewd to do a ‘reverse’ and do things differently to create a diverse outcome for you, your partner and your relationship…
Try and imagine that your significant other, spouse or someone you love does something unexpected, not something that you would agree on, and when you get angry about it, the other person becomes very defensive trying to defend themselves, lashes out at you or withdraws. You get no where talking to each other, let alone understanding each other.
This example is one of the common problems in communication for young and old couples or any people who live or work together, and I bet that you have experienced something alike and would like to know how to resolve these kinds of problems.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Body language as a means of communication
There is many a time when people ignore and take body language for granted. Different body gestures are used to communicate to another party what one is really thinking or feeling. Some examples being frowns, which tell that someone is feeling low and sad or just not in a happy mood. Holding one's head with both hands shows that one is in a state of anguish, agony or amazement. Also the use of hands when explaining something ca be used to show the depth of what one's really talking about. These are just a few to mention amongst the many and is therefore important that we take time to notice these body gestures in our day today communications and interactions with people for we could hurt one's feelings or create wrong perceptions about oneself to others.
By Roy Chikumbi
By Roy Chikumbi
Controversial Issues
Some of the topics I am going to touch on are controversial issues. Readers, I apologise in advance if I have directly or indirectly offended you or anyone who you know.
Topics of the day :
1.RACISM
- discrimination against other races
- most obvious between African American and others
- happens everywhere in the world
The following video shows this example of discrimination among Americans.
2. SEXISM
- discrimination against other genders
- Male vs Female
- again happens globally
- examples are such as F1 sports. No ladies are allowed to race among the men.
3. AGEISM
- discrimination against generally the elderly.
- happens mostly in companies
i.e. My mum's former company has this ruling that states that " All employees that are 55 and above are expected to retire unless they are under contractual agreement."
These are just some of the more common discrimination. We should practice being transparent and not speak or act in any way that discriminates others. It hurts when this happens to you. Practice being emphatic. This will strengthen all kinds of relationships.
Talked about by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
Topics of the day :
1.RACISM
- discrimination against other races
- most obvious between African American and others
- happens everywhere in the world
The following video shows this example of discrimination among Americans.
2. SEXISM
- discrimination against other genders
- Male vs Female
- again happens globally
- examples are such as F1 sports. No ladies are allowed to race among the men.
3. AGEISM
- discrimination against generally the elderly.
- happens mostly in companies
i.e. My mum's former company has this ruling that states that " All employees that are 55 and above are expected to retire unless they are under contractual agreement."
These are just some of the more common discrimination. We should practice being transparent and not speak or act in any way that discriminates others. It hurts when this happens to you. Practice being emphatic. This will strengthen all kinds of relationships.
Talked about by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
why relationships need communication
When we like someone we do anything just to win their hearts.but once we do.we stop being sweet and find ways and words to keep them smiling everyday, that's when cheating comes in.keep in mind that both parties need attention to keep the relationship going as a result you need to give in 50% each in order to make the relationship strong.people wonder why distance relationship don't work its not because the partner luck interest in each other but its because you feel lazy to communicate as the result the other parties will do the same in due time it becomes a habit and you both start losing interest in each other.the key to distance relationship and just any relationship is communication even a simple message just to say hi can really help and can make it strong. In short all am saying is never give up in communication as its the only thing that keeps you going.
by roy chikumbiListeNinG diFferenCes
Listening differences among culture and gender are common in our daily life. For example, Malaysia is a multi-culture country. Majority of the nation is Malays, followed by Chinese and Indians. Although they are all staying in the same country, but they are actually communicate with each other in different languages because of the culture. Besides, nonverbal displays are vary among cultures such as those rules and regulations. For instance, the traditional clothes for Chinese is cheongsam, Malay is baju kurung and Indian is sari. All of these are part of the nonverbal displays.
In addition, listening differences also happened among gender. Men are more closely linked to the realm of the mind and reason, whereas women are more guided by emotion. According to report, women are more sensitive to some of the issues compared to men. They tend to be more sentimental in certain circumstances. Men are always act strong and not allowed to cry like women. Between men and women, there are not only different in norms of verbals and nonverbals but also different in feedback styles exist. Men may give the feedback based on reason more compared to women who give feedback based on emotion. However, even if women may be more emotional by nature than men, this does not prove that they do not have reason behind. Men and women should appear in equal sometimes.
In addition, listening differences also happened among gender. Men are more closely linked to the realm of the mind and reason, whereas women are more guided by emotion. According to report, women are more sensitive to some of the issues compared to men. They tend to be more sentimental in certain circumstances. Men are always act strong and not allowed to cry like women. Between men and women, there are not only different in norms of verbals and nonverbals but also different in feedback styles exist. Men may give the feedback based on reason more compared to women who give feedback based on emotion. However, even if women may be more emotional by nature than men, this does not prove that they do not have reason behind. Men and women should appear in equal sometimes.
By,
Liew Li Hui
You talk, I listen.
Situation:
You are upset with your some of your friends as they tend to ignore you during/in group conversations. You decided to talk to a few of them to try to figure things out. You asked them this question..
" Why do you seem to exclude me everytime when in group talks? "
And they replied...
Jenny : Sometimes I feel that too. That everyone is talking to everyone BUT me.
Charlie : We were not pushing you away. You just kept quiet the whole time and we just let you be.
Amos : Well, at times some of us wanted to have a private discussion and you happened to be there. We didn't want to be rude by by asking you to leave.
Many people faced this and it is not unusual. I face this too. When this happens, the three respondents are said to be ACTIVE LISTENERS. They interpret things differently and stated three different opinions.
This is good as it shows you are listening with empathy. Putting yourself into others' position. All of us should practice this more often than not. :)
Posted by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
You are upset with your some of your friends as they tend to ignore you during/in group conversations. You decided to talk to a few of them to try to figure things out. You asked them this question..
" Why do you seem to exclude me everytime when in group talks? "
And they replied...
Jenny : Sometimes I feel that too. That everyone is talking to everyone BUT me.
Charlie : We were not pushing you away. You just kept quiet the whole time and we just let you be.
Amos : Well, at times some of us wanted to have a private discussion and you happened to be there. We didn't want to be rude by by asking you to leave.
Many people faced this and it is not unusual. I face this too. When this happens, the three respondents are said to be ACTIVE LISTENERS. They interpret things differently and stated three different opinions.
This is good as it shows you are listening with empathy. Putting yourself into others' position. All of us should practice this more often than not. :)
Posted by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
Friday, September 25, 2009
gOod LisTenEr
As a good listener, there are several stages for us to follow. Receiving comes in the first place. In this stage, we are actually decoding a message from the speaker. We ought to focus on the verbal and nonverbal signals from the speaker. For instance, where the speaker put his or her hand? What facial expression does the speaker show? All of these may indicate something special or give us a hint during the communication process. Try to avoid interruptions while you are listening. These might affect listener to receive or decode the message correctly.
The next stage is understanding. After we receive a message from the speaker, make sure that we are fully understand its content and meaning. If we failed to do so, we can ask the speaker to explain or rephrase the sentence in order to illuminate the speaker’s ideas. Different people has different point of view. Thus, try to put ourself into other's shoe will definitely help us to understand the person better rather than stick to our point of view.
Stage three is remembering. After we understand the message, we can sum up the message which including key information and store it in our memory. Besides, we also can categorize the central ideas and support it by taking the notes on that. The speaker will be very impressed if the words he or she said is being remembered by someone. This can be considered as one kind of respect to others. Evaluation on the message is stage four. After been through the first three stages, we should be able to evaluate the message regardless of biases, self-interests, and prejudices which may affect the originally of the message. The listener must think and analyze the message rationally.
Last but not least, responding places in the last stage. We need to give a respond to the speaker but not only keep listening from the beginning till the end of the conversation. By the way, we also can express our support by using verbal or nonverbal signals.
Overall, a good listener is someone who able to receive, understand, remember, evaluate as well as respond to the speaker properly.
The next stage is understanding. After we receive a message from the speaker, make sure that we are fully understand its content and meaning. If we failed to do so, we can ask the speaker to explain or rephrase the sentence in order to illuminate the speaker’s ideas. Different people has different point of view. Thus, try to put ourself into other's shoe will definitely help us to understand the person better rather than stick to our point of view.
Stage three is remembering. After we understand the message, we can sum up the message which including key information and store it in our memory. Besides, we also can categorize the central ideas and support it by taking the notes on that. The speaker will be very impressed if the words he or she said is being remembered by someone. This can be considered as one kind of respect to others. Evaluation on the message is stage four. After been through the first three stages, we should be able to evaluate the message regardless of biases, self-interests, and prejudices which may affect the originally of the message. The listener must think and analyze the message rationally.
Last but not least, responding places in the last stage. We need to give a respond to the speaker but not only keep listening from the beginning till the end of the conversation. By the way, we also can express our support by using verbal or nonverbal signals.
Overall, a good listener is someone who able to receive, understand, remember, evaluate as well as respond to the speaker properly.
By,
Liew Li Hui
Sunday, September 20, 2009
iNterperSonaL & IntrApersOnal coMmuniCation
Human communication includes intrapersonal communication and interpersonal communication. Intrapersonal communication is a conversation with yourself while interpersonal communication is the interaction with a person with whom you have a relationship.
According to report, people are able to judge themselves better by intrapersonal communication. Talking to yourself and listen the words from your heart. Nowadays, people are paying more attention on their career and salary. They are not really having enough time to interact with themselves and enjoy life. As time goes by, they realize that life is meaningless and dull. Sometimes, they do not know what they are fighting for. Indeed, balancing between wealth and health is far more important than earning money blindly.
On the other hand, interpersonal communication is providing an opportunity for us to learn and reveal the strengths and weaknesses about others and own self. You are able to recognize other people better through the interaction. But, the condition seems to change in this modern yet realistic world. People tend to hide their true feeling by just entertaining who they meet up with.
In conclusion, intrapersonal and interpersonal communications play an important role in our daily life. Both of these methods act as a catalyst by improving the relationship between people.
Posted by,
Liew Li Hui
small group communication
“People, please choose your group member and discuss the question in a group,” teacher said.
“Sir, isn’t possible if I complete it on my own?” Student A raised up such question.
Have you heard of this question in your class? Or you are the one who ask this? Why some students are willing to do it on their own but not in a group? Is that any particular reasons behind?
Actually, discussion in a small group is part of the human communication skills. Since childhood, teacher used to separate us into a small group to perform some activities. The same concept applied when we are in the college too. When we start to involve ourselves in the working world, possibility for us to work together with others will become higher because teamwork is essential.
By working in a team, we can learn the skills to solve the problems, apply brain storming, and share knowledge yet experiences from people who come from different backgrounds. In order to achieve positive outcome, we need to cooperate with others to come out with the best strategy. Some people may think that he or she can do better without work with others. Definitely, there is no right or wrong of not being work in a team. Just depends on the circumstances and individual’s perception.
However, we have to learn the way to communicate effectively in a group. This may strongly bound the relationship within the group member and upgrade ourselves to become a knowledgeable person.
by.
Liew Li Hui
“Sir, isn’t possible if I complete it on my own?” Student A raised up such question.
Have you heard of this question in your class? Or you are the one who ask this? Why some students are willing to do it on their own but not in a group? Is that any particular reasons behind?
Actually, discussion in a small group is part of the human communication skills. Since childhood, teacher used to separate us into a small group to perform some activities. The same concept applied when we are in the college too. When we start to involve ourselves in the working world, possibility for us to work together with others will become higher because teamwork is essential.
By working in a team, we can learn the skills to solve the problems, apply brain storming, and share knowledge yet experiences from people who come from different backgrounds. In order to achieve positive outcome, we need to cooperate with others to come out with the best strategy. Some people may think that he or she can do better without work with others. Definitely, there is no right or wrong of not being work in a team. Just depends on the circumstances and individual’s perception.
However, we have to learn the way to communicate effectively in a group. This may strongly bound the relationship within the group member and upgrade ourselves to become a knowledgeable person.
by.
Liew Li Hui
Birds And The Bees
Have you ever experience conflicts with the people around you? If you do, then communication that you converse among each other might be the factor of the argument. When speaking or conversing with another you should always consider their feelings and be vigilant of the words you are going to use. You must at all times put their interest before yours.
One of the main reasons of conflicts is miss communication. Without having a good communication, you can't have a bond with someone. If a person is conversing with someone and they found out that they have lots of the same interest, then they would hit it off right away which can also mean that they have a bond and they are connected in a deep conversation.
Confliction happens when two people misunderstood what another is talking about. They might misjudge another's intention while the other person does not intend to say what they actually mean. The words that came out from their mouth may not be the desire words they had in mind. Sometimes it is just blurted from their mouth without thinking it through.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
One of the main reasons of conflicts is miss communication. Without having a good communication, you can't have a bond with someone. If a person is conversing with someone and they found out that they have lots of the same interest, then they would hit it off right away which can also mean that they have a bond and they are connected in a deep conversation.
Confliction happens when two people misunderstood what another is talking about. They might misjudge another's intention while the other person does not intend to say what they actually mean. The words that came out from their mouth may not be the desire words they had in mind. Sometimes it is just blurted from their mouth without thinking it through.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Maybe, Maybe Not
My friend and I were really close.
He would be my shoulder to lean on
And vice versa
One day he started calling me names and being rude to me
I brushed it all aside thinking maybe it was someone else
Later only did I find out that it was indeed him who did all the things to hurt me
Why you may ask ?
I tried getting the answer out of him but he refused to tell
The only rational conclusion I could come up with is that he was heavily influenced by his other friends
Hence all the things he said and done
After all that has happened, my perception of him changed. I thought he was a one in a million true friend but it turns out he is just another spoiled brat.
Shared by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
He would be my shoulder to lean on
And vice versa
One day he started calling me names and being rude to me
I brushed it all aside thinking maybe it was someone else
Later only did I find out that it was indeed him who did all the things to hurt me
Why you may ask ?
I tried getting the answer out of him but he refused to tell
The only rational conclusion I could come up with is that he was heavily influenced by his other friends
Hence all the things he said and done
After all that has happened, my perception of him changed. I thought he was a one in a million true friend but it turns out he is just another spoiled brat.
Shared by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Don't Be Shy
Have you ever wondered how can one be so shy and timid? It’s not like we’re going to eat or hurt them. In fact, that is far from our intentions. Sometimes it makes no sense to you but I do in a way. Like most people, I too fell into the ‘shy’ group, though I have much improved over the years. There are many possible factors of shyness. People don’t just get shy all of the sudden for no reason what so ever.
People who have severe case of shyness may be dealing with very poor self-esteem or self-context; they don’t have confidence over themselves and they feel inferior when surrounded by other people. Their mind gets blank when they’re in a conversation and some might stutter when they talk. They get so nervous till they forget that they’re making a big fuss over nothing. If truth be told, they should have been acting calm and just follow the flow rather then stressing everything out.
Somehow or rather shyness might be mistaken with arrogance, whereas it is not. People often mistakenly assume that when a person avoids eye contact and is hard to make a conversation with, they are arrogant and stuck up. That kind of mindset should not be practise, not now not ever.
Being shy is not the end of the world but to overcome it takes 6 great steps.
1. When you get up in the morning go to the mirror and say out loud “I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!” Repeat this assertion at least 10 times in a day with eager until it embedded into your subconscious mind.
2. Dress up more often, wear pretty clothes and feel good about yourself. This will give you some kind of a feeling of confidence and self-esteem.
3. Take risk at least once a day so that it may help to conquer your fears. You can do everything, you’re growing in confidence as you learn more.
4. When you are in a conversation of two people or in a group, let them know that you’re shy. This will ensure them to include you in their discussion and stories.
5. Don’t be ashamed of rejection. Being rejected does not mean that you’re trash, it’s just that different people have different dislikes and likes.
6. Join any club, societies and activities that can make you feel excited and good about yourself.
As for the conclusion, it is essential to overcome your shyness, so that you can lead a stress free life and you can actually feel like a heavy burden has been lifted up.
Written by : Nur Afifah Bt Noor Azlan
Monday, September 14, 2009
Shhhh.... Please keep this a Secret ! ;)
A : B, I need to talk to you about something. It's quite personal and I would appreciate it if you keep this a secret. Please DO NOT tell this to anyone else. *shows a pleading facial expression*
B : It's alright. You can trust me. After all, what are friends for ? *smiles*
A : *takes a deep breath and starts blabbering*
Sounds kind of familiar to you doesn't it ? You have probably played both roles of A and B before.
This is called Self-Disclosure. You disclosed something (usually personal information) to someone whom you really trust and expects them to keep the secret safe, locked deep in their hearts. Of course just like everything in life, self-disclosure has its pros and cons.
Pros / Rewards / Benefits :
1. Better Self-Knowledge !
You will be able to know yourself better and in a new perspective or a whole new way. Seeing your problems and secrets laid out will enable you to further improve on your weaknesses and vulnerability. For example..
You like someone and he/she doesn't feel the same way. You are confused and hurt as you really like that person very much.
Telling this to your close friend will help you to decide what your next step should be in approaching this matter. You will also have the courage to accept whatever consequences with the help and support of your friend.
2. Ability to cope stronger
Since someone else knows your deepest secret, you would not have to carry the heavy burden of keeping it from everyone's knowledge. You will feel relieved and happier too. And sometimes you will be able to see the solution that has been right under your nose all these while. Besides that, you are able to discuss it with your friend and receive help from them through advises and suggestions.
Copyright © Image created by Jay Shah, University of Colorado, Boulder, 2005, using MS Clipart. Copyright (c) 2004 Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052-6399 USA. All rights reserved.
3. Communication between you both improves
Now that you both have something to share and talk about, you will go deeper into the subject. At the same time, you will learn in time about each other and how to best communicate effectively with one another. You will begin to make lots of phone calls or send short messages (sms) via handphone, chatting online, or just simply hang out somewhere to talk. Self-disclosure helps to bridge the gap and allow you both to talk about many things.
4. Relationships become more meaningful and might blossom into something more.
Over time, you and your friend spent lots of time together talking about life, problem, relationship, etc. The friendship will soon become very important to you. If both of you are young ladies or guys, you will be very close friends. However if you and your close friend whom you disclose countless personal details to are of the opposite sex, you might find yourself falling in love and having a relationship with your best friend.
So you see, self-disclosure can benefit you in so many ways. However, be careful not to reveal your personal information to just about anyone. Choose wisely on whom you confide to. :)
Blogged by,
Mok Lee Ling aka Melanie. =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)